Divorce, Extreme Pettiness Edition

When you are going through a divorce, so many emotions can be front and center. Anger, disappointment, jealousy - these are just a few of the feelings that are common when going through the stress of divorce. Something important in your life is ending, and while you may be relieved that it is almost over, you still are parting ways with someone you promised to stay with previously. The temptation can definitely be there to do something to hurt or disadvantage your soon to be ex partner, but hold off on doing it just yet - it could impact what happens in court.

A story making the rounds of social media this week involved the bar exam for attorneys that was held nationally. A process server spoke to a woman taking the bar exam, and told her that they were there to serve divorce papers to another woman taking the exam at the same time. On the first day of the test, essentially at the beginning of the exam. Every attorney friend of mine was horrified. Why would you sabotage someone who had worked that hard and that long for something, and had paid so much money to take it, not to mention the hours of prep work and stress of the process? Unfortunately, being petty and acting out against your former partner is typical in divorce proceedings, but you should probably not, as good as you think it will make you feel.

This could be brought up in court. If the woman taking the bar exam has children that will depend on her income, or a job offer that is dependent on her passing the exam, this could impact child and/or spousal support. While being petty can feel good in the moment, it could backfire with the things that are important: division of assets and custody of any children. It’s a bad look, and your attorney should be guiding you through the process, not encouraging you to do things that can hurt your case later.