Social Media Scuffles

When two people are getting a divorce, it is rare that it is completely smooth. While it’s best that the people in question can come to an amicable agreement, it often times takes some negotiation, as well as some compromise on both parts. This is even more true when it comes to co-parenting children. While it is best for the children to hear one unified message and set of rules from both parents, this often isn’t the case. For example, Dad may want everyone in by 9:30pm, while Mom is cool with the teenager staying out until 11:00. Dad may want to pay for that same teenager’s car insurance and gas, whereas Mom might want them to get a job to pay for it. The choices are myriad, and no area is more divisive than technology and social media.

In today’s world of Snaps and TikToks, there is an access to the wide world (web) that was mostly not there in previous generations. Parents, who lets face it, know less generally about technology and social media than their kids do, often are wary of the types of media their kids are exposed to. Conversely, some parents may not know the types of media their kids are exposed to, and therefore don’t know to have restrictions and safeguards in place. Other parents may trust their children’s judgment and don’t want to restrict their ability to experience and communicate with the world. This can be problematic in a divorce, where one parent can be on one side of the debate, and the other parent can be at the polar opposite end. This can be confusing and frustrating to the kids, who often can use the divide to obtain more freedoms or benefits (two Christmases, anyone?).

While you may not agree with much your former partner says in a divorce, you need to put any children you have at the forefront of your mind and decision making. They are being impacted by choices that they aren’t making, and this can be stressful and hurtful to their mental health. Being on the same page with things like social media or curfews can go a long way in maintaining stability for your kids during a stressful time. A parenting plan can be a useful tool that can be incorporated into your divorce to maintain continuity for everyone involved. While your family may start to look different than you planned, you can still provide support and guidance to your kids, and ensure that their relationships remain constant, as best you can.